This season, the top four teams make the playoffs.
In the event of a tie, the tiebreaker order is: wins, fewest no-shows, (neither of which are likely to matter) and then goal differential.
If a team is over the grease limit by the end of the regular season, they will have league points docked or be outright excluded from the playoffs.
With two weeks left of the regular season and nine games left to play, here’s how each team looks:
Zamboni Zombies 
Record: 7-1
Goal difference: +52
🧈Grease: 2898 (on target)
Remaining opponents: SEN, PIE
Last season’s runners up are looking like the favorites for the Live-Wire cup. Their success has been built on an incredible defense, with just 10 goals allowed. Their primary goalie m1chsr has an amazing 95% save percentage, inFamousso is second in the league for goals, and malstryxsr is second in the league for assists.
I put them at 87% chance of taking the #1 seed outright, and even if they end up tied with RIP, their better goal difference should see them take top spot.
They are on target for the grease limit, but may have to be careful in their final game if they have to go greasier against PieRats because of who can make the euro slot (their first game against PIE was their greasiest).
rip tw 
Record: 6-2
Goal difference: +37
🧈Grease: 3042 (🚨over target)
Remaining opponents: COO, COO
The trench warriors are the other main contenders this season, and lead the league in goals, with 20 of them coming from the stick of ZapaTasr. Hulkso‘s levi is living up to his name, and he leads the league in assists. Rookie Kangalfr may be one of the goalie stars of the future.
They have a small chance of displacing Zamboni Zombies for the top spot, but most likely they will be the number two seed. COO, SEN and PIE can all match their record, but RIP should claim second with the better goal differential as long as they can get back under the grease limit.
They are currently over the grease limit though, and can only play an average of 🧈2831 in their remaining games to not suffer league point deductions. Hopefully their freshmen will be able to show, although they could always sign another rookie trench warrior as a temporary filler.
Sentinels 
Record: 3-4
Goal difference: -19
🧈Grease: 2285 (well under target)
Remaining opponents: ZZ, SMN, SMN
Old returning vets DarkAlphafr and Hull Breachjr lead the Sen’s offense, but their most critical piece to success is probably their spider D Omega Redsr.
The LC’s team have one of the easier run-ins, facing bottom of the league Say My Name twice. I put them as the most likely #3 seed, at around 56% chance of claiming it outright, and another 36% chance of being tied. There is around 3% chance that they can slip out of the playoffs positions, but something would have to go disastrously wrong.
They have no grease issues, and can play whatever line they like from their roster in their remaining games.
Chunky Cooters 
Record: 3-4
Goal difference: -16
🧈Grease: 2015 (well under target)
Remaining opponents: RIP, RIP, PIE
Recovered well from losing their captain Eastonso to a mid-game permanent zone ban. Rookie Shaunfr leads the team for goals, and the signing of Zeeeeeeeesr from PieRats is helping provide some needed on ice leadership.
Their last-second comeback victory against Sentinels could end up proving crucial. They have a difficult run-in, having to play RIP twice and then they have to try to show to a euro game which they have already had to postpone. I have them as the most likely #4 seed, but they also have the widest range of likely outcomes possible out of all the teams. It does split roughly into one in three chance of being in either the 2v3 semi final, the 1v4 semi final, or missing out.
The Cooters have no grease issues, and could go super greasey if they wanted to in a playoffs push.
PieRats 
Record: 2-4
Goal difference: -14
🧈Grease: 3512 (🚨over target)
Remaining opponents: ZZ, COO, SMN, SMN
The reigning champions started the season well, but their victories were earned through playing too many vets, making the rest of their season more difficult to manage, resulting in them jettisoning a couple of their Seniors, and Cig Smokesr and DINK!sr taking captainship of the team.
Cig Smokesr has looked good between the pipes, but they have had to go for rookie Leefr in net in recent games as part of trying to control the grease. Swordfr has shown some flashes of brilliance in warbird.
Their remaining games will be all about having their Freshmen show reliably and using their allowed grease strategically. They will only be able to play an average of 🧈2232 in each game to not suffer from points deductions for being over the threshold. At the same time they still need to get the victories needed to claim a playoffs spot. They do at least have a better goal differential than their rivals. I put it at around one in three chance that they will make the playoffs. It could all come down to the final game of the season against Cooters.
Say My Name 
Record: 0-6
Goal difference: -40
🧈Grease: 1814 (miles under target)
Remaining opponents: SEN, SEN, PIE, PIE
It’s always difficult for a team to enter later than others, and it was no different for Say My Name. Even choosing the team name proved a challenge for the ragtag bunch, changing from Team BooVerAnt (an amalgamation of the names of their captains The Boogiemangm, Verezgm and Antsy-HZgm) at the last moment before their delayed regular season games started.
When even showing six for games is hard, it’s important to focus on the small victories: Say My Name have improved dramatically game on game, and they have gone from being easily mercied to seriously mounting a challenge to league leaders ZZ in their most recent game. Dioxidefr is steadily improving in net after taking on board the lessons from Boogieman’s paint diagrams. Warthogfr is looking like a strong anchor in midfield after switching to javelin. Beer League’s rookie of the year nominee abofr is one of the team’s best passers.
It would take a miracle comeback, and it may seem silly to talk about playoffs chances for a team that are yet to win a game, but they are not mathematically out of the race. I have them at 400/1 for being able to sneak into an unlikely playoffs position.
Lowest grease of all the teams.